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What a relief!  Knowing is.  It never ceases to surprise me how far the mind will take us in the wrong direction when we don’t have answers.  For instance, unknown aches or sudden and unaccountable pains can lead our mind into territory that is frightening, overwhelming,  allowing us to worry needlessly.

Questions about a relationship when the significant other acts strangely (out of character) for no apparent reason often causes us to doubt ourselves and feel insecure, making the reality of the given situation feel insurmountable.

When someone says you do this wrong, that wrong, something else wrong, your never good enough, right enough, exact enough, always pointing fingers in your direction (even though you know deep inside it’s not true) you may take it on.  Remember when someone points a finger at you, there are three pointing back at them.  That’s usually a good indicator of what the reality is.  If someone cares, they don’t point fingers at you, they help you question the reality of your situation to clarify it, not place blame.

Of course for some things, it’s true there is no answer, certainly not to why, in most cases. That one can drive you crazy.

When you know what is and the reason for it, you can cope.  You automatically find answers to living with what is and gain perspective and settle.

I don’t know about you, but I find in any given situation, I don’t question the other person’s motivations or reasoning, but I question mine first.  Once I have answers as to where I am, what I’m thinking and feeling, then I ask questions of the other individual.  Their answers relieve my mind considerably even if they aren’t answers I wish to hear.

Knowing gives you such power, protection, perception.  I guess my thought on this is to ask the question, accept the answer and then move on.

I had to mention this in response to Elaine’s prose for the day.  Those of us that take responsibility seem to question ourselves first, others secondly.  Without answers, we will tend to feel guilty, take on unnecessary blame and carry a lifelong burden that isn’t ours to carry.

I have to mention how proud I am of any individual able and willing to look in the mirror and face themselves and the painful truths of what life was dishing out, what they’ve overcome, and continue forward. Able to move forward with the knowledge of who they really are, the depth within.





  1. Thank you that was lovely 🌹


  2. Sumyanna says:

    I so agree with you. For me, I find negative people exhausting… I always try to remind myself that we really do not know why people do what they do, or what their motivation might be. Even when wronged, you never know if the person somehow felt slighted or bothered by something you did (and you did not realize). People are such complex creatures – and seeing as even I do not know why I do what I do (all the time – okay, most of the time) I don’t know how I can assume about others. Love this post.


  3. That mirror is not so easy to look in as it usually has a covering however honest our intentions might be. We approach the mirror as ourselves after all. Great post Phyllis 😊


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