Covert Novelist

Home » Daily » Pretend

Pretend

Categories

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 1,724 other followers

Pretend

Image result for pictures of alone in a crowd

 

I walked to work this morning, carried on my day as usual, much as every other day.

The day stretched long and bleak before me.  To say I felt sick, bewildered, shocked and numb in combination was an understatement.  How was I supposed to get through this day?  Forget a day, weeks, months, years stood before me!  All alone, unescorted, unaccompanied.  I pictured that solitary figure I’d seen only last week, a single, lonely figure walking down the street hunched in sadness and sorrow  aged and so alone.  Could that be me?

Pretend, that’s what I’d do.  The sun shone brightly overhead, I did not see it or feel it’s warmth.  I straightened my back and held my head high. No one would ever know by glancing my way, I was filled with sorrow.

The breeze whisked my hair from my face, I did not feel it’s gentle caress.  Pretend, that’s what I would do.  Stroking my hair i continue on down the street unaware of it’s effort to awaken me.

A bustling street filled with people I did not know sauntered, hurried, jostled around me and I did not notice nor care.  Pretend! I scolded myself.  I placed a fake smile upon my face and walked a little faster, attempting to add purpose to my step so no one would notice how lost I was.

I wondered if I had managed to make the pretense complete.  Would anyone notice the glazed sorrowful eyes or the pain emanating from within or how bereft I felt?  Was I convincing in my deception?  Could I be that effective an actress and pretend to wear this mantra so well no questions were asked, no pity given?  Had my disguise worked? Would I ever fit in with these happy delighted joyful people or was I destined to remain on the outside looking in forever?

I woke from the dream, startled and stared around me if only to confirm that what I’d witnessed was only that, a dream.  I reached across the bed and touched my partner.  Yes he was real, this was real, the other was but a dream.  Only a dream; I congratulated myself and fell back asleep.  Only to fall through the now floating sugary wisps surrounding me, back into the unknown.  Pretend was the last word I heard.

 

 


4 Comments

  1. Sheryl says:

    As always I enjoyed reading your post. What a wonderful story.

    Like

  2. AprilEsutton says:

    Real or dream. Sometimes it is hard to know.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: